The Case Against Caffeine

It's Literally Killing Your Dreams

I'm gonna be real with you.

The only reason I started drinking coffee as an adult was to help me take a shit every morning.

It was a daily habit for years, until one morning on the throne I thought: Isn't it *wild* that I rely on a drug to help me perform such a basic biological function?

So I quit.

Armed with some transition-period laxatives, I set out on my caffeine-free adventure and stumbled across some unexpected serious benefits. I want to share them now, so you can jump in on them too:

• I got way more stuff done, faster.

• My feelings of anxiety basically disappeared.

• I felt more alert without caffeine, because I slept much better.
  

Toppling world's favourite stimulant will take more than just my story, so here I also present to you the rigorous findings of members from a fine establishment: the r/decaf subreddit.

For my more cerebral readers, I'll chuck in a bit of science too. But really the point is that you should do the experiment for yourself.

Just fuck around and you'll find out if …