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It is astonishing how much of capitalism is built to do one thing: serve you pleasure as fast and as cheaply as possible.
But our minds were not built for this. Our prehistoric lives were mostly mundane and difficult. And though some people are naturally wired to enjoy every moment, many of us in modern times fall into the trap of believing that every moment should be pleasurable. We chase cheap dopamine, only to be unsatisfied - so we chase even more, hoping that eventually we’ll feel fulfilled, satiated, content. But eventually never comes, and we end up stuck in a horrible cycle of hedonism and guilt.
For people like us, the solution is simple: doing the boring things we prefer to avoid must become our default.
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If you like to escape into fantasy, boring must be the default. When our imagination runs wild, reality always feels like a letdown. So we retreat into fantasy, occupying our minds with the comfort of what could be rather than the harshness of what is. In this situation, boring tethers us to reality and keeps us grounded - because reality the only place where our dreams can be turned into something tangible. Boring is the bitter pill we must swallow to make that happen.
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If you tend to give into impulses, boring must be the default. There’s only one reason we give in: our minds justify that the pleasure outweighs the pain we promised to endure. Unless we change our default, we’ll always lose the argument to our rationalising minds. Doing the boring but important things eventually compounds in a way that we can’t predict - but giving into impulse washes away that progress instantly.
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If you seek novelty for the thrill of it, boring must be the default. Because this trait is the exact opposite of a boring default. Novelty-seeking spreads us thin, frazzles the mind, and soon requires ever greater extremes to feel the same thrill. But the thrill always fades, leaving us stuck with nothing but emptiness. The only escape is embracing boring.
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This might sound austere, but the reality is the opposite. Because when boring becomes the default, two things happen. First, your curiosity will open your eyes to how the things you thought were boring are actually incredibly interesting. And second, boring is the soil where excellence grows. As Shane Parrish puts it:
The people who change things aren't at the parties, they're home on Friday night, obsessed with problems everyone else finds tedious… Just the same unsexy routine, day after day. They aren't doing anything glamorous. They're just consistently making steady incremental progress over a long period of time.
Success makes noise. Building doesn't. That's the paradox: Exceptional looks boring until suddenly it isn't.
This reminds me of the first time in my life I finally had my own money, and I started buying things. It went like this: Pleasure, dopamine -> crash... Pleasure, dopamine -> crash...
Until I realized 1) it's a loop, 2) it's a freaking fast-moving loop, 3) the more things I have, the more I dread moving. That loop was broken thanks to a single apartment change : )
This article was the perfect timing for me. Thank you Zan. In my case, I always have a yearning to bounce around to new places. The reality is this isn't always an option. Embracing not moving around is the best and only way.